Saturday, March 23, 2013

No Regrets

Forgive me a moment's motherly pride, but most mothers never get to say these words:  "My son's first album was released this month".  Ok, there'll be more than just a moment of motherly pride.  You can check it out at if you like.

Not only was it released, but it is dedicated to my Dad.  I quote:  "This record is especially dedicated to the memory of Charles Bachelder for being the punkest Grandfather ever and showing me what it means to live with no regrets".

Papa was the poster child for thinking outside the box.  If you told him it couldn't be done, he would make it his life's mission to GET it done, just because you told him it wasn't possible.  He was forever coming up with new and better ways to do stuff in ways that were unconventional but effective.  Just because nobody had ever done it that way meant nothing to him; he saw no reason why it wouldn't work, and he would keep at it like a dog with a bone until it DID work.

I'd like to think I inherited some of that from him.  While I do procrastinate from time to time (okay, a lot of the time), I can also be singleminded and relentless when I need to be.  I certainly inherited the tendency toward the unconventional. When all the other girls in band were playing flutes and clarinets, I was hauling my electric bass onto the school bus. There are lots of female bass players now, but back then it was pretty rare.  I didn't do it to be different (well maybe a little), it just called to me.  Still does.  On a local level, it's still kind of unusual for a woman to play bass, and I admit I enjoy being a novelty.  That's the Papa in me, for sure.

When our son announced that he was moving to LA to pursue his career, because that was where he felt he needed to be, nobody was a bigger fan of the idea than my Dad.  He always was in full favor of a grand adventure.  He had lots and lots and LOTS of stories, and of course you can't have lots of stories if you stay stuck in one place forever, especially this place. He also lived by the principle that if you want to get anywhere in life, you have to put yourself out there.  Nothing good ever happened to anybody who hung back and waited. 

Papa has been gone for two years now.  I miss him a lot, but like him, I have no regrets.  There was nothing left unsaid, no unfinished business, no harsh words that can never be taken back.  I can't begin to tell you how important that is.  I only wish he could have been around for his grandson's album release.  I know he would have been so proud!